You know I really enjoyed Mrs. Atticus last night exactly as it occurred. I didn't feel like I was shortchanged by it not "having" her in the classical sense. It was exactly what I wanted in the moment. The little thrill of sneaky pseudo-exhibitionism. A stolen moment. All that.
I expected nor asked for any follow-up. Indeed I left myself no avenue to recontact her or even the prospect that she might look me up. It was truly anonymous.
I was sated in what must seem a paradox, since she had limited contact with me, but I had intimate contact with her. She got off, I didn't in the physical sense, but in the mental sense it was orgasmic.
It isn't the only time I have truly enjoyed relatively tame experiences, sexually speaking. In some cases it is all that was offered or available, sometimes I set it up so that a make-out session was the only probable outcome. I am funny that way but probably not completely unique. Seduction is not the prelude, but rather the point for a lot of people I suspect. Biology carries us through, but the drive is the hunt, the tantalizing lure of drawing someone within one's grasp.
So I came back to the bar in a juvenile hope that she too, was hungering for a bit more, or a bit more of the same. Naturally she was not there. Why would she? I decided not to make a fool of myself and freak her out by tracking her down through the convention her husband was at. It would be creepy and cheapen the memory.
But I long for her non-the-less.
As a teenager I was happy to indulge when the fruit hung low, but some of the loftier visions of beauty I had not the nerve nor the chance to sample kept me awake nights. I was the buddy a few times too often and think I actually liked the unrequited love. Not sure that is past tense for me. Else why chase the unavailable and the unattainable?
Back here on earth my thoughts turn to Ned's huge smile when I walked in. "You DA man!" he said hand in air for a high five. "That was amazing, dude, How on earth did you get her to...?"
I smiled a sheepish smile at the thought. I was pleased with myself, and did know how I had put English on the ball. (I suck at pool but love the metaphors.) I modestly told him with a shrug. "You can't get a woman to do anything she didn't already decide she was going to."
"How did you know what she was going to?"
"I didn't, I just provide the opportunity."
I wasn't lying to him, it is sort of like that I think. A lot of it is the ability to read body English. All the non-verbal cues that we all give off some consciously, most sub-rosa. It also is a gentle touch with your own cues. I don't know if the specific cues used in "The Horse Whisperer" really do work with horses, but it makes sense, and we aren't that far removed from them I think. And no, I am not implying I am hung like a stallion.
My new best friend Ned sent me over a couple of girls..don't know if he was just being helpful or wanted to test my touch or what..That's another post I think.
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